How and when does one decide to become a painter? There are many different answers to this question. In my case it was a visit to a garden store, selling among other things, ceramic vases. To this day, I remember seeing a black ceramic vase and the impact this particular object had on me. Looking at this vase filled me with joy and excitement. At that moment, I decided that my future lay in fine arts. I was ten years old at that time.
When I visited the government's career counseling service I voiced my passion for art. The counselor informed me then that I lacked an important prerequisite to pursue a career in the visual arts, a rich father. I was crushed.
I can finally answer the question posed by Langston Hughes in his poem:
HARLEM (DREAM DEFERRED)
What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?
I held on to my dream. Many years later my first painting instructions took place. When I started taking drawing and painting lessons I wasn't sure if I had enough talent. Fortunately, I had two great teachers - Susana Viola Jacobson and Ricardo Chavez-Mendez - who encouraged me. They set examples about the dedication required to become a painter.
What are my paintings about? Often I don't know until after the painting has been finished. However, there are two concepts that seem to recur: The female form is often present in my paintings, particularly in my pastel paintings. The second concept is fertilization and metamorphosis. Fertilization refers not only to human fertilization but also to the fertilization of thoughts and actions. Fertilization gives rise to a fundamental change (metamorphosis).
I prefer to concentrate on ideas that transcend the personal and focus on the universal. Personal revelation is uninteresting to me, what matters are the experiences that connect us to each other and the world around us.
Another important idea for me is the concept of interconnectedness; we are all part of nature and nature is part of us. In my world view there is no hierarchy, all is intertwined, making up the great matrix of life. This matrix of life is awe inspiring and beautiful in its complexity, and ever changing nature. We are a microscopic part of this great web of life, that's all.
Not all of these ideas are reflected in my paintings. Sometimes just the beauty of color and spatial organization of the canvas matters. At other times, I am more concerned with the development of pleasing patterns, sensuous curves and straight lines.
Something I wrote in 1997 still applies:
I LOVE COLOR AND CURVES. FOR ME CURVES REPRESENT HARMONY AND SENSUOUSNESS.
TO CREATE TENSIONS AND BALANCE, I LIKE TO COMBINE CURVES WITH STRAIGHT LINES.
FORMS THUS CREATED REFLECT HARMONY AND JOY.
The term sensuousness needs to be clarified because of its narrow application in todayï¿½s language. Sensuousness is the engagement of all our senses to perceive and enjoy our world.